Skip to main content

If sleep training isn’t going well, try these simple solutions

Sleep training can be one of the roughest periods of parenthood. The goal is to put your infant in their crib or bassinet and allow them to completely fall asleep without any external help, but every parent who’s been through sleep training knows that’s far easier said than done. All too often, sleep training just results in a lot of crying (possibly on both your parts), a lot of stress, and fears of developmental or emotional issues caused by “just letting them cry it out.”

If you’re finding that sleep training isn’t working for your infant and it’s causing simply too much stress on your household, you may want to consider an alternative. After all, there’s more than one way to get a baby to go to sleep. Check out these alternatives to sleep training, including a no-tears method.

father sleeping with child
Pixabay

This nighttime parenting method addresses your child’s individual needs

“Nighttime parenting” may sound like a fancy method, but it’s probably pretty close to the type of parenting that you do with your child on a daily basis already. Nighttime parenting is a method that’s especially useful for those who worry about the long-term consequences of the “cry it out” method, when it comes to their child’s mental and emotional development.

The nighttime parenting method is simple. When your baby cries, you show up and then look for what your baby needs in order to go back to sleep. Sometimes that means being held, sometimes that means food, and sometimes that even means co-sleeping.

While the nighttime parenting method may mean more trips up in the middle of the night or that it takes more time for your baby to learn to sleep on their own, some parents find they learn to especially cherish those nighttime parenting sessions, knowing that their child will eventually start sleeping on their own, so they ought to enjoy the extra time while they can.

The no-tears sleep-training method provides more natural solutions to getting your baby to sleep

The no-tears sleep-training method employs a lot of the same practices that adults use for getting better sleep. It includes establishing a regular sleeping schedule (both with naps during the day and at night), going to bed earlier, making any and all changes very gradually, establishing a relaxing nighttime routine, and creating a sleep-friendly space.

Just like an adult, if your baby knows that they go to sleep at 7 p.m. each evening, and that the hour before that is filled with a bath, book, and lullaby, they’re more likely to eventually begin feeling sleepy around that time, as it becomes routine. Similarly, if you create a dark, quiet, and soothing environment for your baby, they’re more likely to stay asleep and feel safer in their sleeping space.

family of three in bed
Pixabay

Maybe it’s you who needs the change, not your baby

Many parents turn to the cry-it-out method of sleep training simply because they’re exhausted themselves and need to get a little more uninterrupted sleep. However, it might not be a good choice for your baby and, in some cases, not work at all. In these instances, it might be useful to take a look at your own sleeping patterns and how you can make healthy changes that help you better parent regardless of your child’s sleep schedule.

Look at your own bedtime habits and see where you can make healthier decisions that might allow you to more easily tend to your child’s middle-of-the-night routines. Perhaps you need to start going to bed earlier and spending less time with tech ahead of bed. You might also need to stop napping or sleeping in on the weekends, so that your body has a consistent sleeping schedule.

No sleep-training strategy is a sure win for all children

There’s no one sleep-training strategy — cry it out, no tears, or otherwise — that’s a sure win for every single child. Every child is different, and so is their sleeping patterns. You may find that one of your children responds well to the no-tears method, while your other child simply screams until they get what they want. The important thing is to be patient and continue trying various ways of creating a soothing and safe sleeping routine and environment for your child. Before you know it, this time in your child’s life will pass, and they’ll be sleeping silently through the night with ease.

Editors' Recommendations

Holly Riddle
Former Digital Trends Contributor
Holly Riddle is a freelance food, travel and lifestyle journalist, who also dabbles in copywriting, ghostwriting and fiction…
Does every baby need a sleep sack? It’s complicated
How to help your baby sleep better
A baby in a sleep sack in their crib.

Getting your baby to finally sleep through the night can feel like winning the lottery when you're a parent. When you find something that works and allows you and your baby to get a good night's sleep, you definitely want to stick with it. One item that some parents swear by to help their baby sleep better is a sleep sack. But, while this may work for some babies, others absolutely cannot stand them.

You may be wondering if you should use a sleep sack for your baby before you decide to invest in one. Our short answer is that it totally depends on your baby’s personality. Babies are pretty vocal about everything, and they will let you know pretty quickly if they enjoy being tucked into a sleep sack. We give you some of the pros and cons of sleep sacks to help you decide whether to buy one before you bring your baby home,

Read more
What is the Ferber Method, and is sleep training safe for my baby?
Is sleep training using the Ferber Method right for your child? Learn more here
A baby awake in their crib in a sleep sack.

One thing every parent has in common is sleep deprivation. No one really tells you before you welcome your bundle of joy just how sleepless your nights, days, and everything in between can be with a new baby in the house, but it doesn't take long to learn the hard way. Getting your baby to sleep can be a struggle, which is why many parents choose to sleep train their baby, often using the Ferber Method.
The Ferber Method is named for Richard Ferber, M.D., a pediatrician who created the method in the mid-80s and based his 1985 bestselling book,  on his methodology. If you've been struggling with sleep deprivation and are eager to get just a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, sleep training may be something to consider.

What is the Ferber Method?
The Ferber Method, also referred to as "graduated extinction" is a method of sleep training that helps teach your child to self-soothe so they will eventually learn to go to sleep on their own and fall back asleep should they wake in the middle of the night. It involves putting your child to bed while they're still awake and allowing them to fuss or cry for specified timed intervals before responding. Gradually, you begin to increase the amount of time you allow your child to self-soothe before checking on them.

Read more
Floor beds are trending. Is the hallmark Montessori sleep space for your little one?
Montessori floor beds: What's the point exactly? The answer is super interesting
Children playing in a bedroom.

If you spend time in parenting spaces, you know Montessori is having a moment. Scroll through Instagram and TikTok, and you’ll see thoughtfully designed playrooms with open shelves, minimal wooden playthings (probably from Lovevery), and tons of information on the benefits of toy rotations. The bedrooms each have a floor bed.

For the unfamiliar, a floor bed is exactly what it sounds like: a bed on the floor. Though you’ll find sprawling ones on Etsy with wooden railings, it can be as simple as a firm crib mattress low enough to the ground that a little one can get in and out of on their own.

Read more