1. Home
  2. Stages

Do these 6 things to effectively teach kids respect

By

As parents, we want to have the peace of mind that we’re raising kids who are well-behaved, polite, and respectful to others. Respect is often defined as having consideration of another person’s feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions. At the same time, the respect definition for kids often relates to the following:

  • Playing fair
  • Taking turns
  • Saying “I’m sorry” when necessary
  • Sharing

When you think about it, this abstract concept can be taught through the course of everyday life. So, we have some tips for teaching kids respect through modeling and communication.

Recommended Videos

Be the role model when teaching kids respect

As you might have noticed, young children pick up on everything in their world. They closely watch your interactions with others and from there, often start imitating you. Plus, your manner of communication with them impacts the foundation of their behavior.

Consequently, modeling respectful communication is the first steppingstone toward teaching your children this quality. When you set a solid example of respectful interactions with others—at home and beyond—they will pick up on your actions and in turn, apply that to their relationships.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Teach how to take turns

Another valuable lesson relates to taking turns. Whether your child is sharing a favorite toy or carrying on a conversation, allowing the other person to participate is a valuable life skill.

In the situation of waiting in line at the slide, your child will learn about patience and might even start engaging other children in conversation in the meantime. And speaking of conversation, by taking turns, they practice active, mindful listening.

Talk about respect at home

Likewise, your children will tell you about their day in daycare or in school as they get older. Often, these stories involve their interactions with other children that present teachable moments. This is a great opportunity to talk about respect and to ask guiding questions of your own.

For example, you can inquire why a class activity goes more smoothly when everyone raises their hand instead of blurting out. Or why games are quite fun when participants wait for their turn.

On the other hand, if your children wish to discuss a situation at school where respect was lacking, you can ask them what could have been done differently. Also, you might consider touching on the topic of constructive conflict resolution which encompasses taking turns to talk, keeping calm, and listening with an open mind.

Teach appropriate responses and requests

In addition to different scenarios where positive interactions come into play, you can teach your children the value of making requests in a respectful manner and responding appropriately to adults.

One common example relates to the situation when you’re on the phone or conversing in person with another adult, and your child needs to ask you something but doesn’t want to interrupt. You can model and teach your children to say “Excuse me, please” after patiently waiting for a pause in the conversation.

Ask Why

When the situation arises that your tots argue with each other or talk back to you, then one way to diffuse the tension is to ask them why they made that particular choice. And the best way to approach this is to ask in a calm, cool manner and to follow up with “were you disappointed or frustrated?”

This questioning causes kids to stop and reflect on their words. When they acknowledge their own emotions, they can become better equipped to deal with them. That’s when (probably years from now) the reactive “I hate you!” turns to “When you said ‘x, y, and z,’ I felt angry because…” Then they’re on their way toward effective conflict resolution.

Image used with permission by copyright holder

Reward good behavior

Another important aspect of teaching kids respect is to acknowledge when they have done the right thing. For instance, going back to the opportunities for discussing respect, you can compliment your children when they have resolved their conflicts by talking it out and reaching a compromise.

Also, you can catch them doing a good deed. For example, if you and your child are walking into a grocery store, and he or she steps aside to hold the door for an elderly person, you can whisper a “Great job!” to him or her.

Explaining the respect definition for kids and all the actions behind it can be difficult for such an abstract concept. Nevertheless, the most important thing to remember about teaching kids respect is to stay calm so they remember the lesson more than your outburst. Also, you might prepare yourself for having to apologize to them in the event you do lose your composure. When you model this behavior, you’re showing integrity while still emphasizing your authority and credibility. Over time, your children will pick up on these valuable life lessons which will prepare them well for their future relationships and work habits.

Editors' Recommendations

Topics
Leslie Anderson
Former Digital Trends Contributor
Leslie Anderson is a freelance writer/writing coach from Roswell, N.M. She enjoys gardening, cooking, and helping students…
Why do toddlers hit themselves? The reasons may surprise you
Toddlers hitting themselves is on the list of strange behaviors a parent needs to know about

Kids often exhibit behavior that many parents can't understand. Toddlers especially know how to bring a bit of pizazz to the day. Their behavior can often be silly and spontaneous, but it can also be worrying. It's a jarring experience for any parent the first time their sweet baby reaches up and hits them. It's even more confusing for parents to see their toddler turn their anger inward and hit themself in the head or on their body. Why toddlers hit themselves can be something every parent struggles with.

Children who have never been physically disciplined may still hit themselves, scratch themselves, or pound their heads against walls or the floor when they're frustrated. Why do toddlers do this? Do they grow out of it? What do parents do to stop it? And when do you know whether you might need to seek professional guidance for your child? Let's dig into this part of toddlerdom most parents will have to deal with.
Why do toddlers hit themselves?

Read more
When do babies sleep through the night (and what the answer means for your child)?
This is the first question new parents want to know

Every parent of a newborn has the same question after their first night with their precious new bundle of joy. When do babies sleep through the night? All it takes is those first sleepless 24 hours to wonder if you are ever going to sleep again. After a few days, you don't even remember when the last time you slept more than a few hours in one stretch was. We get it. Here's when babies sleep through the night, so you know when you will be done stumbling around in a zombie-like sleepless fog.
A baby's sleep schedule
Every baby is different, so if your babe isn't getting the exact amount of sleep by a certain age, it's not something to worry about. But there is a little guide to refer to.

Newborns up to 2 months old
Newborns do spend a decent amount of time sleeping. Unfortunately for the parents, it's not all at night. While babies less than 2 months old snooze up to 18 hours a day, with up to 10 of those hours being prime nighttime sleep hours, it isn't all at once.

Read more
These weight loss tips for teenagers really work and are good for their self-esteem
How to encourage a healthy lifestyle for your teen

Parents want nothing more for their kids than for them to be healthy and happy. When a teen is struggling with their weight, they can often feel unhealthy and suffer from mood swings and depression. Unfortunately, many teens assume their weight is their own problem to deal with alone. Teens often don't understand that weight fluctuations are a very normal part of growing up, and as long as they're healthy, they shouldn't stress over it. 

If your teen has expressed concern about their weight or general health, you can support them by incorporating lifestyle changes as a family. If you're struggling with how to help your teenager lose weight in a supportive and non-judgemental way, here are some weight loss plans for teenagers to help get their energy up and their fitness back on track.
What not to do

Read more