Skip to main content

6 ways to support a mother who has postpartum depression

Postpartum depression can happen to any new parent and having support is one of the most important factors to make it through. If you’re wondering how to help someone with postpartum depression, we have six ideas for support.

According to the CDC, about one in eight new mothers experience postpartum depression (as well as about 4% of new dads). Postpartum depression is different than the “baby blues,” which typically resolve within a few days after birth. Postpartum depression can include feelings of anger, numbness, worrying about hurting your own baby; feeling guilty about being a good mom; crying more than usual; or feeling disconnected from your baby. The weeks after having a baby (even welcoming one without giving birth) can be an emotional roller coaster and it’s natural to have many big feelings and to take some time to bond with a new family member. Therefore, it can be difficult to recognize postpartum depression. Seeing a medical professional and being honest is the best way to figure out what’s going on and begin to get help.

If your spouse, friend, or loved one seems like they are going through this (or might be), here are six ways to help.

mom-suffers-postpartum-depression
Jelena Stanojkovic / Getty Images

How to help someone with postpartum depression

Take the chores off her plate

With so many feelings to work through, cooking and cleaning are the last things a new mom needs to be worrying about. If you do the dishes, cook a meal, do the grocery shopping, clean the house, or babysit her older kids, she can use that time to sleep, journal, bond with her baby, exercise, shower, or get outside. Any time you can give her time for self-care or even basic hygiene will help her feel less overwhelmed and also make her feel cared for. Don’t ask her what you can do to help, as that’s just something else for her to think about. Just find something to do and do it.

Listen to her

New moms are often cooped up alone at home without other adults for much of the day and desperately need someone to talk to. Be that listening ear and listen without judgment (unless she is planning to harm herself or the baby and then you should take action such as bringing her to the hospital or calling a crisis hotline). Let her get it all out without jumping to giving advice, telling her she should feel differently or commiserating about your own experience. Let her express all of the negative feelings she needs to get out even if it is hard to hear.

Reassure her

Remind her that this is a temporary stage of life and that she will not be in the newborn phase forever and she will not have postpartum depression forever. You can still validate that things are very hard right now while also reminding her there is hope for the future and that she is strong enough to make it through this time. If she is feeling like a bad mom, reassure her that many moms feel this way and they all just do their best. As long as her baby is fed, safe, and cared for (even if not by her), then she is being a good mom. No one wins medals for doing crafts with two-month-olds.

mom-postpartum-depression-looks-out-window
Image used with permission by copyright holder

Make plans for the future

Help her look forward to the future when her baby is older by booking a trip or planning which children’s museum memberships to buy. There is a lot of parenthood she has to look forward to after the sleepless nights.

Help her research support

Is there a local moms group she can join for socializing? A postpartum support group at the hospital where she delivered? Does she need help to look for a psychiatrist or therapist with availability for new patients? If she is willing to get support for her postpartum depression but the logistics of online searches and making phone calls are stopping her, help her by doing the leg work for her.

Celebrate her

Everyone is interested in the baby — asking how she is doing, commenting on how cute he is, giving her gifts. Meanwhile, Mom is getting ignored at a time when she needs attention. Make sure she knows you care about her day, what she is thinking and feeling, and what she wants. Ask about her instead of the baby first and greet her instead of the baby first. When she feels good about herself for something like the baby taking a bottle, celebrate with her.

Helping someone with postpartum depression

New parenthood can be full of many joys but it can also be a very difficult time. It can be stressful, hormonal, and isolating, so good friends and a support system are important. As they say, it takes a village. Being part of the village of support for someone with postpartum depression can make a huge difference in their life, so reach out to that person on your mind.

Editors' Recommendations

Sarah Prager
Sarah is a writer and mom who lives in Massachusetts. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, National…
These funny gender reveal ideas will delight your guests
Cute, clever and unique gender reveal ideas
Couple holding boy or girl card

Gender reveal parties have become just as popular as baby showers these days. While they are definitely not necessary, gender reveals are a fantastic and fun way to get your loved ones together for a celebration. Some couples choose to learn their baby's gender by cutting into a cake that reveals a pink or blue filling while others have popped confetti-filled balloons. If you're looking for something a bit more unique for your gender reveal, you may want to try one of these more humorous options that will include your family and friends.

These funny gender reveal ideas will require you to pick your most trusted family member or friend to find out the sex of the baby before anyone else, including you! If you and your partner are just fine with handing over the reins to someone else, then let’s dive into these funny gender reveal ideas.

Read more
Give Your Baby a Name With a Nautical Twist With These Water-Themed Baby Names
Baby sitting on the beach

Choosing a baby name can be a daunting task. So many choices! You don't want your child to be saddled with a name she will later hate but you also don't want her to be one of five Hunters or Emmas in her class. Do you go traditional or modern? Unique or one of the top 10 from the yearly baby names list? It can be a lot. Sometimes choosing a theme and then choosing a name can make the task a little easier. If you're interested in water-themed or nautical names, then here's the list for you!

Take a look at our list of water-themed names for a little baby name inspiration.
Water-themed names for girls
Here's a boatload of water and ocean-inspired names for girls.
Cordelia
Cordelia is a Welsh name meaning "jewel of the sea".
Meredith
Another name of Welsh origin, Meredith means "guardian of the sea".
Nerissa
This unique Greek name means "from the sea" and is a great alternative to the more common Marissa.
Pearl
This gorgeous gem from the ocean is a beautiful traditional girl's name.
Mira
This beautiful name is from ancient Sanskrit and means "sea" or "ocean".
Delta
Meaning "mouth of a river", Delta is a lovely water name for a daughter.
Delphine
In French, Delphine means "dolphin" and is a great choice for your playful, smart little girl.
Water-themed names for boys
If you love the water, one of these water-themed names for boys might be just what you're looking for.
Troy
The name Troy is from the Irish-Gaelic and means "water". As well as garnering some fame from Homer's Iliad and the story of Helen, Troy is a well-known, but not commonly used boys' name, so your future son is likely to be the only Troy in his class.
Dylan
Dylan is a super popular name, but its meaning — "son of the sea" — isn't widely known.
Hurley
Another Irish-Gaelic name, Hurley means "seat tide".
Kai
This Hawaiian name means "sea" and is a great choice for boys but also works as a unisex name!
River
This unisex name needs no explanation.
Calder
Calder is of English origin and means "rocky water". Though it's unique it's gained popularity over the last decade.
Maxwell
This classic name is of Scottish origin and means "great stream."

Read more
6 benefits of postpartum massage that might surprise you
A lady is laying on a massage table with a pillow

Postpartum massage offers several benefits, like stress and pain relief, that you may have heard about. However, there are a few more advantages that you might not be aware of. Plus, if you have questions about the safety and timing aspects soon after giving birth, you’re not alone. How soon after giving birth can you get a massage? Is postpartum massage safe? What happens if you don't massage your uterus after birth? We’ve explored some of those questions about postpartum massage along with its benefits to you and your baby during the first weeks after delivery.
How soon after giving birth can you get a massage?
As soon as you feel comfortable, you can get a postpartum massage. Whether you want to wait for a few days after giving birth or a couple of weeks, you’ll still receive the benefits from this therapeutic approach.

However, you might receive a word of caution from your obstetrician if you went through a caesarian section. He or she might advise you to wait at least six weeks to allow the incision to heal. After that waiting period has passed and if the healing is progressing normally, then you might be able to lie on your side if you’re getting a back massage. Another option is to lay on your back for a cranial or facial massage only.

Read more