As parents of an infant, getting the whole house to sleep is one of the most important milestones of the day. An established bedtime routine and a sleep training method are key to getting your baby down for the night. No matter if you need to sleep train your first or third baby, you want to know about all the options before you start. One you may have heard about is the cry it out method. See if this sleep training method is right for your family and your baby before you commit.
What is the cry it out method?
Also known as the Extinction method, the cry it out method is when you let your child self-soothe themselves at night to fall asleep through a mix of letting them cry and predetermined external comfort. When you hear about the cry it out (CIO) method, your mind goes to the baby being alone to cry all night in a dark room, left there until morning when the parents can check on them. While it is a controversial sleep method, in reality, it is a little more complex than that.
Cry it out method
- During sleep training, you put the baby down for bed while they are still awake.
- You put baby to sleep when they display sleepy cues, but are not overly tired.
- This method is generally used for babies at least 4 to 6 months old.
- You need to adhere to a strict bedtime routine.
- The baby is fed, changed, appropriately dressed, and in all ways ready for bed when put down.
- If the baby cries, you leave them alone to self-soothe themselves to sleep.
This method isn’t about trying to get your child to sleep through the entire night or to never get up. Most adults get up at least once to use the bathroom or get a drink, so why would a baby sleep all night, every night? This sleep training method is about letting the baby figure it out on their own. You don’t go in there to rock them back to sleep, talk to them, pick them up, or even go in the room.
The first three days or so are the hardest on both the parents and the baby, as both are adjusting to this sleep training method together. The biggest struggle for parents is to not enter the room if the baby isn’t in distress or going to come to any harm.
Ways to ensure CIO works
- Stick with the same bedtime routine every night.
- Make sure your child doesn’t need anything before you put them down.
- Don’t start if your child is sick or there have been changes in the home.
One of the biggest things with babies is a solid bedtime routine. You can’t expect any sleep training method to work if you don’t have rigorous bedtime practices in place. Have the same routine and put your baby down at the same time to create that sense of safety for them.
While you need to make sure your baby is fed, dry, and comfortable before you put them down, if they are sick, you should not start the CIO method. The crying would aggravate their cold or cough and make it worse. If you have had any big life changes, like moving, you shouldn’t test out the CIO method because your child and family are going through enough adjusting to that, and no one needs the added stress.
When to talk to a doctor
Ideally, you should talk to your child’s pediatrician before you start the CIO method just to make sure everything is OK. If your child gets so upset from crying that they vomit, have your baby checked out just to be sure they are fine. If you have been trying the CIO method for longer than a few days and your child still cries all night, you should speak to the doctor. Usually, it should only take around four days for your baby to start settling into the CIO method.
Every baby is different
Every parent needs to keep in mind that every baby is different. Just because your first child adjusted to the CIO method in a few days doesn’t mean your second will take to it. Your second could never like the CIO method. All parents of an infant want nothing more than to sleep, but you have to do what works best for your baby. If one method doesn’t work, don’t get discouraged. There is the Ferber method, which is a softer version of the cry it out method, and the pick-up/put-down method, which is an even softer version of things. Try another method if one isn’t working.
The cry it out method is just one on a list of sleeping training methods. It is not for every family, and not every parent will want to try it, but it’s better to understand and know as much as you can to be fully informed before you make decisions for or against something for your family. Whether you let your baby cry themselves to sleep or hold them until they drift off, getting the house down for the night is the goal.
