Skip to main content
  1. Home
  2. Stages

How to handle a moody teen

Lauren Barth
By

Toddlers and teenagers have one thing in common: Mood swings. But while a 2-year-old’s temperament can be fixed with a cookie and a nap, navigating your adolescent’s overall ‘tude is far more complicated. It’s not easy growing up, and today’s teens face a hefty amount of peer pressure, anxiety, and stress. Layer on puberty, fluctuating hormones, and major life transitions, and it is no surprise that youngsters can be moody, melodramatic, and emotional. That doesn’t mean that you have to live with a veritable ticking time bomb for the next few years, though. There are ways you can address your teenage child’s disposition and help them along the bumpy journey.

teenager fighting with parents
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV / Shutterstock

Why teens are moody

Teenage mood swings are a fact of life. They mark a period of growth and transition — and they happen for various reasons. Some are physical and physiological; others are mental and emotional. They’re all legitimate, though, so it’s important to never downplay or shrug off your child’s seemingly all-over-the-place feelings. Here are the most common causes of moodiness:

  • Hormonal shifts and puberty. Yes, your teenager’s hormones are going slightly crazy right now. Puberty mood swings are no joke; estrogen and testosterone levels are fluctuating — and all sorts of chemical reactions create mounting annoyances like acne, voice cracking, and, yes, moodiness and irritability. Additionally, allopregnanolone (THP) is a hormone released during situations of stress; while adults generally feel calmed by this reaction, teens often feel further triggered.
  • Brain changes. There are also some major brain changes that take place during adolescence. The physiological changes make it hard for teens to control their impulses and rein in their emotions.
  • Asserting independence. Teenagers crave freedom and autonomy. They’re no longer little kids but not quite adults. During this in-between transitional period, they may seek out ways to claim their independence. This might manifest as rebellion or it could result in grumpiness, sadness, irritability, and oversensitivity.
  • Figuring out who they are. Adolescents are trying to figure out who they are as individuals. They’re learning how to express themselves creatively. And they’re working toward being their own unique self. This might come across as teenage theatrics, but it’s their way of navigating this uncharted life territory.
Recommended Videos

Tactics for dealing with a moody teen

Dealing with a teenager’s oscillating mood and ever-changing personality will take patience and grace. There will be times that you’re tempted to roll your eyes right back and slam doors (a taste of their own medicine). But you’ll want to remember that you’re the adult (nay, the parent!), and it’s your role to model good behavior. Here are some additional tips and tactics to keep in mind:

  • Keep calm and parent on. It’s frustrating when your teenager replies to a simple “what would you like for dinner?” with an exaggerated sigh and a petulant “whatever.” Before you react, take a deep breath, count to three, and remember that this too shall pass. Escalating an argument won’t help you or your child — so maintain your cool and lead with compassion.
  • Communicate. Your teenager might reply in one-word answers, but that doesn’t mean you should stop asking questions. Keep having conversations, continue to communicate, and try to elicit responses. What’s more, if they do come to you with problems, be open and show a willingness to listen — even if it’s not what you were hoping to hear.
  • Encourage a healthy lifestyle. Just like you monitor your young child’s diet, activity, and sleep, continue to be vigilant about establishing and maintaining healthy habits for your teenager. They should be eating nutrient-rich meals and snacks, doing adequate exercise, and getting those all-important Zzz’s. This will help improve their bodies, minds, and moods.
parent and teen talking
Martin Novak / Shutterstock

When to seek help

Of course, while mood swings are a regular part of growing up, they can be a sign of a larger mental health issue. Frequent and strong emotional responses can be a symptom of depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. Oftentimes, these problems emerge during adolescence, so don’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s doctor if you are worried about their mental health and emotional wellbeing. Early intervention via treatment can make a huge difference and immensely help improve your child’s life and outlook.

Related

We all feel moody from time to time; teenagers are no exception. Of course, the biological and mental changes happening can further fuel their strong emotional reactions. As a caregiver, it’s important to react with empathy and give credence to their very real feelings. It won’t be easy — for you or your teen — but together, you can get through this tough transition and come out on the other side feeling stronger, more confident, and more emotionally connected.

Editors' Recommendations

Lauren Barth
Lauren Barth
Former Digital Trends Contributor
Lauren Barth is a freelance writer and digital editor with over a decade of experience creating lifestyle, parenting, travel…
How much water should a 1-year-old drink? What you need to know
Here's how to keep your little human hydrated
Toddler drinking glass of water

The transition from baby food to solid food is an exciting one for parents and their children. Once your child has fully transitioned to eating solid foods, they must also drink enough liquids to balance their diet. Milk is likely still a huge part of your child's daily diet, and they are most likely drinking it more than water. Although milk is important for toddlers to drink to help with the development of their bones and teeth, they must also drink water. If you're wondering how much water should a 1-year-old drink, here's what you need to know.
How much water your child should drink

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), 1-year-olds should drink 1 to 4 cups (8 to 32 ounces) of water per day and 2 to 3 cups (16 to 24 ounces) per day of whole milk.

Read more
What is a baby sprinkle (and how to plan a great one)
Why you should at least have a baby sprinkle even if you already have a child
Cake for a baby shower.

We all know the standard pregnancy celebrations. We've seen gender reveal photoshoots all over social media and have been invited or know someone who has gone to at least one baby shower. But what about when someone is having a second baby? Or is having the first girl after two back-to-back boys? Well, that's where having a baby sprinkle comes in handy. Whether it's been a few years since the last little one or you're having one of the opposite gender and only need a few items, here's why a baby sprinkle is the perfect way to welcome this new addition.
What is a baby sprinkle?

If you don't know anything about pregnancy parties, think of it in scientific terms. What is a shower versus a sprinkle when it rains? Not as much water for one as the other, right? Take that and apply it to a baby shower versus a baby sprinkle. Think of a baby sprinkle as that grocery trip where you only need the fillers, and you're not restocking the whole kitchen.
If you already have a baby
If you are parents to one child (or two or three), you probably have most of the stuff you need from the last child. But if there were items you wish you would have grabbed for the first one or you have a list of needs for this next baby, a sprinkle is the perfect forum to get those goods.
If it's been a few years since you've had a baby
Even if you already have a child, maybe this next one is a few years further away than you wanted or planned. A baby sprinkle is the best way to get those items you may have donated, lost, or broke with the first kiddo.
If you have only one gender but find out you are having the other
Have all boys? You will want a sprinkle to get some girl items. Have only girls? You might use a sprinkle to get at least one item that isn't pink. Not that certain colors are meant for boys or girls, but maybe you had a Minnie Mouse-themed nursery, and you'd like your first boy to have a new theme for their nursery.
Let's sprinkle the details
A baby sprinkle isn't going to be exactly like your baby shower. It's more of a low-key event, should be less stressful, and is less formal.

Read more
The feeling words all parents should teach their little ones
Help kids learn how to verbally express their emotions
Building with words asking about feelings

Emotions can run the gamut with kids. A child can be happy and content one minute and then be a puddle of tears the next. Managing emotions becomes increasingly difficult as kids get older. Feelings of frustration often erupt seemingly out of nowhere. Many times, a teen doesn't understand why feelings of anger take hold much like a toddler having a tantrum in public.

As adults, we recognize that feelings are complicated, but understanding them is vital. Feelings are an abstract concept for children. Take the answer to some common parent questions like, "How are you feeling?" or "How was your day?" Kids will typically respond with fine or OK, even if their body language and demeanor are saying something else. Teaching your child how to verbally express their emotions through the use of feeling words forms a firm foundation for emotional well-being.

Read more