Being a first-time mom is pure joy and pure terror. From the second you find out you are pregnant, the wheels start spinning over time, making lists of what you have to do, things you need to buy, and everything else you need to do before the baby comes. In addition to all the planning you have to do, others will be glad to give you their two cents about what they think you should do. While not every nugget of advice is a keeper, here are first-time mom tips that will get you through the first year.
Tips for you and the baby
You aren’t prepared for how much a baby cries
Your baby is going to cry a lot. You need to find a soothing way to deal with the noise. Even “easy babies” cry when they’re tired, wet, and hungry. It’s a lot of crying and most first-time moms are not prepared for how much a baby cries and how easily the noise can get to you. We suggest a lot of classical music.
Hold your baby as much as you want
You cannot spoil a baby. If you want to hold your child every second they are awake, do it. Your child will grow up so quickly, and picking up a teenager who is taller than you gets a bit harder to do whenever you want. Make sure you stretch and lift with your legs if you try to pick up your teenager.
On the other side of that, you don’t have to hold your baby every second they are awake. If your arms hurt, if you mentally can’t pick them up, or if you need to set the baby down to get stuff done, you and the baby will be OK if you put them down.
Tips for others
You don’t have to let anyone visit
You just had a baby after carrying and growing that baby for nine months. If you don’t feel up to hosting guests and visitors, you do not have to. Don’t let anyone in your home you don’t want. Explain to everyone you want the first few weeks or months to be about resting and recovering.
How you feed your baby is your business
Whether you breastfeed or use formula, someone will say something about it. Someone will try to give you advice or get you to go one way or the other. As long as your baby is fed, how you get there is your business.
Tips for you
If you breastfeed, it is hard
It doesn’t matter if it is your first child or fourth baby, breastfeeding is not the easiest part of being a mom. It takes dedication and hard work. The first few weeks will test your resolve, so take advantage of lactation consultants and other support, but do not think you are less of a mom if you have to go to formula. Just feed your baby.
You need to eat
As vital as it is that your baby gets fed, new moms need to eat just as much. Whether you breastfeed or not, you need your energy to take care of this new person. If you don’t have the energy to cook, when people ask what they can do for you, ask for meals. If you have the chance to enjoy a hot meal, eat it, and let other people hold the baby so you can eat.
You will feel every emotion
You will feel sad. You will feel upset. You will feel angry. You will feel joy. You will feel happiness. You will feel it all. Every new mother will have ups and downs, and the sadness hits you out of nowhere. Even if you don’t have clinical postpartum depression, your emotions will not be predictable for that first year, at least. You might find yourself crying with your baby for no reason, and that’d normal.
You will need help
It doesn’t matter if you are a single mom or you have a partner, you will need more help. Look to friends, neighbors, extended family, find a podcast, and join support groups for aid. Places like the library and community center have mom support groups, so join one of those at a minimum. Even if you are on top of everything, knowing you have a support group at your side is sometimes all you need.
When looking back, the first year passed in a blink
Everyone tells you to enjoy it, to savor each moment with your baby, because it goes by fast. And everyone is right. In the thick of it, it does not feel like it. But on your child’s first birthday, you will wonder how you got there so quickly. Take all the pictures, snuggle, stare at your baby, and be ready to cry when that first year is already over.
New mothers will be bombarded with advice — whether they asked for it or not. But there are first-time mom tips that are going to help you survive that first year when you’re sleep deprived and can’t remember if you’ve brushed your teeth or know what day it is. Be kind to yourself and try your best to get through the first year by showing yourself grace and compassion. But don’t forget to keep these tips handy.
