Skip to main content

Is it time for a post-COVID family tech agreement?

Family watching TV together on the couch
Africa Studio / Shutterstock

Four-and-a-half hours a day. Six-and-a-half hours a day.

According to an American Academy of Pediatrics report, that’s how long children aged 8-12, and teens aged 13-18, respectively, spent daily on their devices. And this was 2019 B.C. (Before COVID).

Recommended Videos

During the pandemic, learning shifted from in-person to online and face-to-face interactions with friends were discouraged. With schools closed, extra-curricular activities shut down, park play prohibited, and outing destinations such as restaurants, movie theaters, and amusement parks shuttered, kids found themselves turning even more to technology to learn, feel a sense of connection, or simply for diversion.

Oh, for the days when parents were concerned about the time spent in front of just one screen, the TV set. Now there are laptops, smartphones, tablets, and video games, not to mention an unprecedented explosion of content from 20th-century relics like TV shows and movies to platforms such as Instagram and TikTok.

As the country slowly emerges from the pandemic, parents should take this opportunity to reboot their family’s tech habits with a post-COVID digital tune-up, recommends child media expert Nicole Dreiske.

Dreiske is the founder and executive director of the Chicago-based International Children’s Media Center and the founder of the Chicago International Children’s Film Festival, the first of its kind in America now in its 38th year.

She has devoted more than a decade to creating an educational program designed to walk parents and caregivers, teachers, counselors, and pediatricians through the process of helping children use screen time constructively. She presented her findings in the 2018 book, The Upside of Digital Devices: How to Make Your Child More Screen Smart, Literate, and Emotionally Intelligent.

Iakov Filimonov / Shutterstock

Pandemic sent screen use “through the roof”

As parents juggled working remotely and caring for their children, many kids have literally been left to their own devices.

“Whether it’s been for work, school, or recreational use, kids and adults have been spending a ton of time on screens, and we need some support structures to get us through the end of this pandemic and beyond,” Dreiske said in a phone interview. “Now, more than ever, kids are going to need direction and consistency from their parents, especially about smartphones.”

In March 2020, the beginning of the pandemic, The Washington Post reported “through the roof” increases in iPhone screen time, and noted studies that showed a correlation between screen time and physical and psychological maladies, including eyestrain, obesity, and depression. In the article, clinical psychologist Nicole Beurkens noted more time in front of screens was necessitated by working from home and online schooling. In addition to being “intentional” about taking breaks, she said parents needed “to be aware of how much time kids are spending on their screens.”

It was a lot. As of June 2020, according to Statista, the percentage of 14-to-17-year-olds who spent more than four hours daily using electronic devices since COVID-19 almost doubled from 32% before the health crisis to 62%. Almost 50% of 11-to-13-year-olds reported spending more than four hours daily on electronic devices compared with 23% prior to COVID. Likewise, 44% of five-to-ten-year-olds were logging more than four hours daily on their screens compared to 17% pre-pandemic.

Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

Getting families on board with a tech agreement

To get children back to, for want of a better word, normal, Dreiske recommends families develop a tech agreement together, which she defines as a written set of rules and guidelines that specify how all devices, content, and social media platforms are best used by each member of the family.

“This is a great time to do it,” she said, “and if you had a previous tech agreement, this is a great time to modify it because it would have had to be modified during the extraordinary circumstances of COVID.”
“It’s not a parental hammer coming down,” she emphasized. “It’s just an extension of the positive social programming and values you’ve instilled in your family over the years. Just connect those rules to using the phone, internet, and social media platforms.”

To take an extreme example, consider porn. “Kids should know it’s not okay,” Dreiske said. “Think about Baby Boomers with pictures in National Geographic of bare-breasted tribal women in Borneo, or Playboy magazines stashed under the mattress. That’s so old school. Eight-year-olds can access actual porn online with impunity. You don’t just say, ‘No porn.’ You connect it to basic character concepts and reinforcing that this is not who you are as a family: We don’t touch other people inappropriately, we don’t take off our clothes in front of other people, we don’t take pictures of parts of our body and send them to other people.”

For families who have never created a tech agreement, Dreiske recommends going online to find templates. “The internet is your friend,” she joked. “Common Sense Media has excellent media and tech agreements, and the American Academy of Pediatrics has stellar versions,” she said. “You can also google ‘parent-developed tech agreements’ to find what people have posted online.”

Jack Frog/Shutterstock

Kids are facing challenges with learning loss and health

Several challenges concerning device usage have emerged during the pandemic. Perhaps first and foremost is learning loss. A study released last December by McKinsey & Company said that “the cumulative learning loss could be substantial, especially in mathematics—with students on average likely to lose five to nine months of learning by the end of this school year.”

“Don’t panic,” Dreiske reassured. “Find your child’s strengths and build on what they do well and love to do. Look to your school for suggestions; we need to approach this as ‘What can we do together to help kids reclaim lost ground?’ Find some Facebook groups. Parents are incredibly creative about meeting these challenges and you will get great ideas.”

Dreiske is also a champion of engaging children in arts activities and/or sports. “Those programs address the whole child,” she said. “They build confidence, creativity, and teamwork.”

Another challenge exacerbated by the pandemic involving screens is extreme behavioral fluctuations that can be related to dependence on screens. These may include lack of sleep or too much sleep, elevated eating, and obesity. Dreiske recommends creating a developmental checklist that takes into account what you decide needs to happen for your child to stay resilient, growing, and positive. “Bedtime matters, exercise matters, and, of course, one of the biggest things that are going to keep us resilient is our relationships.”

One example Dreiske cites comes from screenfreeparenting.com, which, despite its name, was created to help parents make “the best tech-wise choices for their families,” according to its website. Its “Spoil System” promotes five activities children should engage in daily:

  • Social (bonding with family and friends)
  • Play (unstructured)
  • Outdoor
  • Independent (chores)
  • Literacy (reading)

A third challenge parents face regarding their children’s device usage is screen overload. Symptoms may include red, irritated eyes, consistent fatigue, and changes in temperament. This is where the family tech agreement can work wonders.

“The pandemic has made children used to higher tech. How parents wind down from that is going to be important,” Dreiske said.

Parents may fondly remember an era when their own parents thought nothing of letting their kids while away their Saturday mornings watching cartoons. But children are spending 1,600 hours a year on their devices, according to studies. Parents can no longer just leave a device in the hands of their children.

Dreiske consults with schools and districts on healthy tech habits and teaches an accelerated learning program, Screen Smart, for early-childhood students. In school workshops, Dreiske guides children through a short video or app, prompting them to discuss what the characters onscreen are feeling and how they themselves felt about that.

This activity can be adapted for the home. Just as reading with one’s children can be a treasured bonding time, so too can sharing content with one’s child and discussing values, lessons, and emotions.

But for children to ultimately develop positive device habits and constructive screen usage, Dreiske emphasized adults need to lead by example. “Our civility, warmth, and patience carry a great influence,” she said. “We need to put our phones down and make eye contact and listen to our children. Healthy tech habits start with us.”

Donald Liebenson
Former Digital Trends Contributor
7 amazing shows on Netflix you need to watch with your teen
Netflix shows perfect for parents and teens to watch together
Parents watching TV with their teen daughter.

It can be difficult to connect with your kids, especially when they hit the teen years. Technology and social media seem to keep our teens connected to their phones more than their parents, but this is a phase of life where it is more important than ever to make it a point to engage. Middle and high school is a difficult time for tweens and teens as they try to fit in with their peers and face academic pressures, all while navigating the awkwardness of adolescence.
Shows to watch as a family

Watching TV shows is a great way to spend time with teens and explore some of those difficult subjects through comedies and dramas focused on their age group. There are plenty of Netflix shows for teens that have plotlines dealing with relevant issues like relationship anxiety, friendship problems, college application stresses, and more. Here are six Netflix shows for teens and parents to enjoy together.

Read more
What are phantom kicks? Are they real or not?
How to know if you should worry if you feel phantom kicks
A mom holding a newborn

All kinds of things happen to a woman's body after giving birth. One that isn't as talked about very much is possible phantom kicking. Your little one has left the building, but you still feel an occasional pressure in your stomach that feels like a kick. Is that possible? What's going on in there? What are phantom kicks? This is what could be happening after giving birth if you swear you still feel a baby kicking in your stomach. 
What are phantom kicks?

Recovering after pregnancy is no joke, and sometimes things happen that they don't prepare you for in those classes or have in the books. If you swear you have felt your baby kick inside your stomach, but you're looking right at your baby sleeping peacefully right next to you — don't freak out. It is something that happens to women who have given birth sometimes. You aren't about to be the mother of an alien.

Read more
Here’s our temperature guide for dressing babies in both cold and warm weather
How to dress your baby for any weather type
A parent dressing their baby

As the seasons change, knowing how what weather to dress for can get complicated. As summer turns to fall it can be cool in the morning yet positively sweltering by midday, only to turn cool again in the evening. The weather is often unpredictable, making it hard to know just how many layers you may need for the day. Knowing how to dress a baby when you're not sure if the weather will change is a challenge, too, especially since they can't tell you if they are too hot or cold. Dressing your babe correctly for the weather is one time a parenting handbook would be helpful.

Many parents find themselves wondering just how many or how few layers their child needs to wear during those first few months. If you wear a light jacket, will your baby do fine with the same? Will they need more layers in the fall and winter months to cover their delicate skin? How do you balance protecting your baby from the sun in the summer, while making sure they don't overheat? To help you pick the perfect outfit for your infant, here’s a temperature guide for dressing babies in both warm and cold weather. 
Baby clothes temperature guide: Fall

Read more