Skip to main content

How to get your kid to stop yelling at you

One big part of your child’s development is learning how to communicate effectively. Your child may not have the skills to communicate any other way than yelling, so it’s part of your job to help them grow.

Yelling can be frustrating for you, but there are some things you can do to help gently correct this behavior without losing your mind. Here are some of the reasons behind the yelling or screaming behaviors in children and what to do about it overall.

Why is my child yelling?

Emotions are tough for children to process. They learn as babies that crying gets them what they want. That behavior is appropriate for babies, but children with communication capabilities may need help breaking those habits.

Children can also learn to mirror our own behaviors. If you find yourself yelling at your children often, even simply yelling to get their attention, they could be learning the behavior from you. Yelling isn’t effective for parents or children, but that anger is hard to control.

kid screaming
fizkes/Shutterstock

Children may be yelling for any number of reasons:

  • They’re hungry and have few reserves to stay calm.
  • They’re experiencing big emotions and don’t have the communication skills to identify them.
  • They’re mirroring behavior they see from parents and siblings.
  • Whatever the reason, there are things you can do to help reduce the chances that your child will continue yelling and give them different communication skills to create a more peaceful household.

Give kids warnings and updates

Sometimes yelling is a result of transitions. If your child is growing tired and it’s soon time for bed, begin a countdown so that children aren’t surprised by the transition. If your child isn’t fully aware of the clock yet, these transitions could be alarming and unexpected.

Begin with a suitable time frame, say 30 minutes before bedtime. Tell your child that it’s 30 minutes to bedtime so they understand what’s about to happen. Continue to count down by 10 minute- or five-minute increments and give your child the final warning just a few minutes before.

This won’t always save you from yelling, but it can help make transitions less unexpected. These could help stop the surprises from transitions and make communication more peaceful.

Take a time in

Time out can be helpful in some instances, but sometimes when you send your yelling child from the room, it tells them that they’ll never be heard. Instead, sit down with your child to take time in.

For a time in, you encourage your child to sit down, punch a pillow, or just pause before making any rash decisions. You can acknowledge your child’s feelings and ask them to identify what’s happening. You’re taking time away from the situation together, rather than sending the child away alone.

Create a list of alternatives

Sit down as a family to create a list of alternatives to yelling. You can work on this together, and each list will look a little different. The idea is to give your child safe, appropriate alternatives to yelling.

Some ideas could be:

  • Doing five jumping jacks
  • Taking five deep breath
  • Singing a song
  • Tossing a soft pillow across a room
  • Brainstorm together about how you can blow off some of that angry energy and ensure that everyone is safely able to express those big emotions.
kid screaming
Ana Duque/Shutterstock

Model the behavior you want to see

If you want your children to stop yelling at you, you must be willing to stop yelling yourself. This includes all forms of it. Practice the strategies you need to keep your own yelling under control (including following some from your family alternatives list).

This is also the time to practice communication strategies such as active listening and not yelling to get attention. If you need your child, take the time to walk to where they are, and look them in the eye. Listen to them when they talk to find out how they’re feeling in the moment.

You can also be proactive about situations that cause you to yell. If morning is stressful, do everything you can to prepare the night before. If you know that bedtime is a trigger, build in a calming routine to help everyone through it.

Understand that some behaviors are normal

There’s nothing wrong with your child sometimes yelling in frustration from big emotions. If you feel like something is going on, talk to your pediatrician about your child’s behavior to receive insight into how to proceed.

With some patience and time, you can give your child the skills they need to communicate in more effective methods and may teach yourself better coping mechanisms to avoid yelling along the way. Peace is possible, and you really can take control of the atmosphere in your house. It’s all a matter of teaching new skills.

Editors' Recommendations

What is a baby sprinkle (and how to plan a great one)
Why you should at least have a baby sprinkle even if you already have a child
Cake for a baby shower.

We all know the standard pregnancy celebrations. We've seen gender reveal photoshoots all over social media and have been invited or know someone who has gone to at least one baby shower. But what about when someone is having a second baby? Or is having the first girl after two back-to-back boys? Well, that's where having a baby sprinkle comes in handy. Whether it's been a few years since the last little one or you're having one of the opposite gender and only need a few items, here's why a baby sprinkle is the perfect way to welcome this new addition.
What is a baby sprinkle?

If you don't know anything about pregnancy parties, think of it in scientific terms. What is a shower versus a sprinkle when it rains? Not as much water for one as the other, right? Take that and apply it to a baby shower versus a baby sprinkle. Think of a baby sprinkle as that grocery trip where you only need the fillers, and you're not restocking the whole kitchen.
If you already have a baby
If you are parents to one child (or two or three), you probably have most of the stuff you need from the last child. But if there were items you wish you would have grabbed for the first one or you have a list of needs for this next baby, a sprinkle is the perfect forum to get those goods.
If it's been a few years since you've had a baby
Even if you already have a child, maybe this next one is a few years further away than you wanted or planned. A baby sprinkle is the best way to get those items you may have donated, lost, or broke with the first kiddo.
If you have only one gender but find out you are having the other
Have all boys? You will want a sprinkle to get some girl items. Have only girls? You might use a sprinkle to get at least one item that isn't pink. Not that certain colors are meant for boys or girls, but maybe you had a Minnie Mouse-themed nursery, and you'd like your first boy to have a new theme for their nursery.
Let's sprinkle the details
A baby sprinkle isn't going to be exactly like your baby shower. It's more of a low-key event, should be less stressful, and is less formal.

Read more
The feeling words all parents should teach their little ones
Help kids learn how to verbally express their emotions
Building with words asking about feelings

Emotions can run the gamut with kids. A child can be happy and content one minute and then be a puddle of tears the next. Managing emotions becomes increasingly difficult as kids get older. Feelings of frustration often erupt seemingly out of nowhere. Many times, a teen doesn't understand why feelings of anger take hold much like a toddler having a tantrum in public.

As adults, we recognize that feelings are complicated, but understanding them is vital. Feelings are an abstract concept for children. Take the answer to some common parent questions like, "How are you feeling?" or "How was your day?" Kids will typically respond with fine or OK, even if their body language and demeanor are saying something else. Teaching your child how to verbally express their emotions through the use of feeling words forms a firm foundation for emotional well-being.

Read more
What it means if you lose weight during pregnancy – and when to worry
What causes a pregnant woman to lose weight?
A pregnant woman holding her belly in a bathroom

Weight gain is a very real, very normal, and very expected part of pregnancy. Most people are prepared to see the scale going up as their pregnancy progresses, but sometimes they may notice it going down, which can cause some anxiety. Pregnancy requires extra calories and extra nutrition to feed a growing baby, which is why it can be very concerning when a pregnant person notices they are losing weight.

Weight loss during pregnancy may be more common than you think. It isn't necessarily cause for alarm unless it's a consistent pattern throughout the pregnancy and not just a short-lived dip on the scale. Many factors can cause a pregnant person to lose weight, but that doesn't mean it can't be concerning when it happens. You should always consult your doctor if you're concerned about your weight gain or loss during pregnancy, but if you've found yourself asking, "Why am I losing weight while pregnant?" here are a few possible explanations.
It's not uncommon

Read more