Skip to main content

How to raise a responsible child who isn’t an ungrateful brat

Everyone has a different style of parenting and most people can agree that what works for them may not work for others. What most parents can agree on is that everyone is just doing their best to raise kids who are responsible and not ungrateful brats!

Parenting is one of the toughest jobs in the world and it’s definitely not always easy to teach your children how to be responsible, but if you’re consistent and model your own personal responsibility chances are you won’t have to deal with a spoiled brat. Here are some tips on how to raise a responsible child.

teaching-child-responsibility1

What is responsibility?

The Center for Parenting Education asked parents what they considered ‘being responsible‘ means when it comes to their kids, and their answers included: being dependable so people know they can count on you, being on time for commitments, being accountable, acknowledging when mistakes are made, and contributing to the family. These are all traits that are important in order to grow into a responsible, trustworthy adult.

Why is teaching kids responsibility so important?

Responsible children grow into responsible adults, and we can all agree that responsibility is a necessary trait for a successful adult. So, start young! “Ingraining responsibility in children is not a trick but is simply teaching them life skills,” Dr. Karen Ruskin, Psy.D., and author of The 9 Key Techniques for Raising Respectful Children Who Make Responsible Choices told Care.com. “Kids who do not have responsibilities feel entitled and think the world will always do for them.” It can often be difficult for parents to hand the reins of responsibility over to their children, but it really is important for kids to learn.

How to teach kids responsibility

Responsibility can mean different things based on your child’s age. Younger children and middle graders might require a bit more guidance and help to remember to do certain tasks or be on time, but as children grow into the tween and teen years, it becomes more important that they become personally responsible.

That said, just because younger children might not have as much responsibility as their teenage peers doesn’t mean you shouldn’t start teaching them how to be responsible at a young age. Parents can start as early as the toddler years to encourage their children to help with things like tidying up after playing, or in the kitchen after getting a snack. Teaching toddlers how to clean up after themselves and put their shoes and coat away is a great way to introduce children to personal responsibility, and as they grow older, their chores can expand. Giving your children age-appropriate tasks ensures success and is a great way to encourage responsibility at home.

teaching-child-responsibility2

Let them contribute

When it comes to responsibility, it’s important to teach kids that they need to not only practice personal responsibility but also responsibility towards others. Research shows that kids who help out around the house are more likely to help others in social situations than those who are only responsible for their own personal needs, according to Aha! Parenting. Even if the task you give your child will take longer and not be done as well as if you did it, it’s important to let them try and learn instead of simply doing it yourself. Eventually, your child will get better at doing that task and enjoy the satisfaction that comes with helping out. Alex Barzvi, licensed, clinical psychologist and co-host of the talk show “About Our Kids” on Sirius Doctor Radio explained to Care.com that giving a child responsibility can also affect their self-esteem. “It’s also about an attitude, the idea of taking action and being proud of doing it, not just always having your mom and dad do it for you,” Barzvi stated.

Provide them with the tools they need

Parents sometimes forget that tweens and teens might need some help to be responsible. Verywell Family suggests parents ensure their child has the tools they need to be able to keep track of new responsibilities. Maybe your child would benefit from having a planner to write down chores, or maybe they need help using their smartphone to set reminders. It can be overwhelming for kids to suddenly assume responsibility for something their parents previously took care of, so be sure to equip them with the tools they need to be successful.

How to raise a responsible child: Consequences are important

Part of teaching children responsibility is also teaching them that there are natural consequences when they aren’t responsible or don’t do as they’re asked. “It is ultimately your child’s choice to not put a toy away,” Barzvi explained. “Parents are afraid to let kids suffer, be sad, or angry, but if we always solve children’s problems, they will not learn to be responsible as they grow up.” As much as you want to be able to help your child by bringing them something when they forget it or picking up after them because they left a mess, doing so doesn’t teach kids to be responsible.

Teaching responsibility isn’t always easy, but it’s it can definitely help in raising a respectful, responsible kid and not a spoiled, ungrateful brat.

Editors' Recommendations

The best Facebook groups for parents of toddlers
Facebook groups for toddler parenting advice
Woman with coffee and laptop

Raising a toddler isn't always a walk in the park, so getting parenting advice from your extended "village" can make you feel less isolated and give you new ideas on how to approach parenting those complicated little kids. Facebook groups are the perfect place to connect with thousands of other parents to use as a sounding board for advice on issues like potty training in a way that one opinion on Google or from the pediatrician can't provide.

Whether you're looking for new activities, searching for language development advice, or wanting help on an issue specific to your child, these Facebook groups for toddlers are worth clicking the "Join" button.

Read more
Is public or private preschool right for your child?
Find out what kind of preschool will best fit your child's needs
Preschool teacher talking with students at a table

If your child is ready for preschool, you'll have to decide if public school vs. private school is right for them. Which one you choose depends on a number of factors, including cost, schedule, parenting style, and location. We'll take you through which questions to ask yourself when making this decision for your little one and yourself.

Public preschool
Public preschool is a popular option for parents as a go-to choice that is in town, near where they live. Kids are able to continue there as they grow to attend kindergarten and beyond at the same school. This not only gives them a sense of routine -- getting to know the building, playground, drop-off and pickup system, staff, and cafeteria, but it also helps them make and keep friends they'll have year after year.

Read more
Show your young child you love them with these Valentine’s Day toddler activities
Valentine's Day with kids can be fun - and these preschooler-approved activities prove it
Child making a paper heart with scissors

Valentine's Day is the holiday to celebrate love, but it doesn't just have to be romantic love (like how kids join in with giving Valentine's cards at school). If you're spending Valentine's Day with kids, you may want to include them in the celebration. Engaging your little one in Valentine's Day toddler activities is a way to show them love and even build skills and self-esteem. Seriously — art, cooking, and physical activity are all on the table when you're spending Valentine's Day with kids.
Like with any holiday, you can make it your own. Here are toddler and preschool Valentine's Day activities your young children will embrace — and so will you.

Valentine's Day crafts for toddlers and preschoolers
Heart crafts
Make a garland, mobile, wreath, or card out of paper hearts, or adapt just about any craft to include the color red or pink. There are endless Valentine's Day crafts out there for any age that will let you have quality family time around the table.

Read more