Skip to main content
  1. Home
  2. Stages

Is ‘uninvolved parenting’ actually neglect? We ask the experts

Whitney Sandoval
By

A variety of parenting styles have made headlines over the years. Uninvolved parenting has increasingly joined the discussion. Although it sounds like a parenting trend that should be lumped in with free-range parenting or permissive parenting, according to the experts, uninvolved parenting can actually become neglect and cause long-lasting emotional problems for kids. Keep reading to find out what the experts we’ve talked to have to say about the parenting style known as uninvolved parenting.

Sad teen sitting by a window

Free-range parenting vs. permissive parenting vs. uninvolved parenting

Deborah Porter, a certified life coach and regular contributor on CBS’s “Virginia This Morning,” explains the difference between free-range parenting, permissive parenting, and uninvolved parenting:

Recommended Videos

Free-range parenting provides love and involvement but allows for natural consequences to be in place. Permissive parenting is low demand and high responsiveness. Uninvolved parents are oftentimes raised by uninvolved parents and don’t yet have the skills to parent differently.

Related

Usually, the parents still meet all of their child’s physical needs, but they are unengaged in the emotional aspects of parenting. Porter elaborates that although uninvolved parenting styles are often unintentional, the parents are emotionally unavailable and may be uninterested in the day-to-day life and activities of their children.

Dangers of uninvolved parenting

Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, psychologist and founder of Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, LLC and The Global Institute of Children’s Mental Health explains the dangers of uninvolved parenting:

Without secure attachment, children of uninvolved parents lack that anchor that comes from nurturing and caring relationships, which means that they are at risk for a host of mental health-related, behavioral, and emotional problems.

Does a lack of involvement really constitute neglect? In some cases, an uninvolved parent may also neglect the physical needs of a child. This can include not providing consistent meals, appropriate clothing for age or season, or sanitary living conditions — all of which can constitute neglect.

Some may argue if a parent is providing the basic needs of a child, then the child is not experiencing neglect, however, Capanna-Hodge disagrees. She believes all uninvolved parenting is neglect. “Uninvolved parenting is essentially neglectful parenting, as these are parents who fail to provide their child with safety and structure and are indifferent to their child(ren).”

What are the effects of uninvolved parenting?

Uninvolved parenting can have an enormous negative impact on children, especially on their emotional development. According to Porter, the effects of parents who are uninvolved may include “problems with attachment and deep relationships later in life, anxiety, being emotionally withdrawn, and having to grow up quickly.”

Beyond emotional problems, children of uninvolved parents can also develop mental health-related and behavioral issues. Capanna-Hodge explains, “It is only through secure attachment that the brain and body can self-regulate, and children of uninvolved parents are prone to more self-regulation difficulties including problems with attention, impulse control, emotional control, anger, and difficulty forming bonds with others.”

Sad toddler holder a stuffed bear

What are the pros and cons of uninvolved parenting?

On the surface, parents may believe uninvolved parenting allows a child to be more independent and to learn more problem-solving skills. However, uninvolved parenting is an extreme form of passive parenting that can lead to several issues. There are no pros to uninvolved parenting.

Along with the mentioned emotional and behavioral problems, there are several other cons to uninvolved parenting. “An uninvolved parent may expose children to potentially hazardous things, or put them in dangerous situations because of their lack of rules and indifference. With teens, these types of parents may not care about grades, who their child is hanging out with, or even if they are using substances,” Capanna-Hodge warns.

Examples of uninvolved parenting

Although uninvolved parenting may seem like a style of parenting similar to free-range parenting or another style of parenting that allows the child more choice and flexibility, it’s actually more akin to neglect or detachment.

Capanna-Hodge describes the characteristics of uninvolved parenting as:

  • Not setting rules or expectations for behaviors
  • Providing little or no supervision
  • Showing indifference or lacking an emotional attachment
  • Lacking concern for a child
  • Showing a lack of interest, affection, or warmth
  • Not interacting with a child or participating in activities with them

Most parents want to raise children who grow up to become independent adults. Many theories on how to do this exist and parents may gravitate toward parenting styles that fit their vision of raising successful children. They may also gravitate toward the style of parenting they grew up with.

If you’re a parent, please learn from what these experts say about the uninvolved parenting style and make the right choice for your children.

Editors' Recommendations

Topics
Whitney Sandoval
Whitney Sandoval
Former Digital Trends Contributor
Whitney Sandoval is a freelance writer and educator living in the Midwest. She writes about parenting, accessibility, and…
There are actually some helpful benefits of tongue twisters for kids
Tongue twisters are a laugh, but did you know they are also a useful learning tool?
teenagers getting twisted over tongue twisters

Ready to get twisted? With tongue twisters that is! November 12 is National Tongue Twister Day, but you don't need to put those pickled peppers Peter Piper picked in a pot nor do you need to save tongue twisters for the fall. Tongue twisters have been around for ages and are simply a phrase that's hard for people to say clearly, especially when spoken quickly. Of course, tongue twisters don't have meaning and they're always a laugh, but did you know tongue twisters for kids can actually be helpful?
Benefits of tongue twisters
Many people might think of tongue twisters as a silly thing to do at a party. The big laugh always comes when someone says a tongue twister incorrectly. Sure, tongue twisters are fun, but saying them does serve a purpose, especially for the kiddos. Don't worry! Our tongues won't get twisted talking about these surprising perks of tongue twisters.
Pronunciation
Since people try hard to say tongue twisters correctly, the practice actually helps speakers to articulate clearly and work on word pronunciation.
Developing speech muscles
Yes, people have speech muscles, and saying tongue twisters can help develop the muscles in the tongue used in pronouncing words. This's why tongue twisters are a great way to warm up those speech muscles before an oral presentation. Tongue twisters are also used to help kids and adults with stuttering.
Improve reading and language skills
Another added benefit of saying Sally sells seashells by the seashore is that tongue twisters for kids help improve fluency when speaking. Tongue twisters also expand vocabulary. Both of these perks translate into enhancing reading skills.
Learning English
Teachers often use tongue twisters in class with kids for the reasons previously mentioned. Tongue twisters are also a wonderful tool for kids and adults learning English.
Popular tongue twisters for kids
The key to saying tongue twisters is to try to say them three times fast. That's usually where tongue twisters trip up people, though some of us have difficulty saying them slowly. Here are a few popular tongue twisters to use in the car with kids, at a party, or just because.

Which witch is which?
He threw three free throws.
A snake sneaks to sneak a snack.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
If a dog chews shoes, whose shoes does he choose?
Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
Four fine fresh fish for you.
I saw a kitten eating chicken in the kitchen.
Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards.
We surely shall see the sun shine soon.

Read more
Bring imagination back into your kid’s playroom with these ingenious DIY ideas
These DIY kid's playroom ideas are super easy to achieve and great for boosting imagination
Montessori shelf playroom

The kid’s playroom should be a space not just for fun and letting off some of a child’s youthful energy, but also an educational hub that encourages imagination. As you curate a space for your child to play and grow, you’ll want to include unique activities to help them express themselves. So, we’re giving you some incredible DIY playroom ideas that not only make the space look nice but add more room for imaginative play and learning.

Add a chalkboard wall
A chalkboard wall is a classic playroom addition, functioning as both a teaching opportunity and an art station. Not to mention; it also curbs that desire to draw on the walls!

Read more
Thinking about homeschooling your child? Here’s why it’s a bad idea
If you want to homeschool, consider these reasons not to homeschool first
Frustrated mom homeschooling her children

Homeschooling isn't necessarily a new educational concept. The process where children are educated at home by their parents has been around for ages. It wasn't until the 70s that the practice gained in popularity. The late 90s and early 2000s also saw a resurgence in the number of students being homeschooled. Numbers again increased during the pandemic after remaining at around 3% since 2012, according to the United States Census Bureau.

The reasons parents may choose homeschooling over conventional education usually involve safety concerns, flexibility, frequent moving, and wanting to create a more individualized learning environment. While the idea of homeschooling your child might be attractive, it's actually not as simple as you may think. Before removing your child from school, consider these reasons not to homeschool.
Legal requirements for homeschooling
Homeschooling isn't as easy as just not sending your child back to school. There are legal requirements for homeschooling children, and they differ in each state. Some states like New York and Pennsylvania have stricter guidelines, while others like Florida have few. Before making the decision to remove your child from school, take the time to review the homeschooling laws for the state you live in.
Commitments involved in homeschooling
Making the decision to homeschool means one parent is about to become your child's full-time teacher. The idea that school can now easily become a year-round activity is an attractive one, but for the parent doing the teaching, it's another full-time job. In addition to being a parent and all that responsibility it entails, you're about to become your child's teacher, tutor, and principal. You will also be in charge of creating multiple daily lesson plans and researching curriculum, as well as finding materials. If you have multiple children, you will be planning and teaching for different age groups.

Read more